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The past couple of weeks have left rugby fans scratching their heads in bemusement over the behaviour over 3 of England’s elite rugby players.

What disappoints fans who would give their right arm (or any other appendage) to play for their country is that for each of these players this is not the first time they’ve been in trouble.

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The 3 Amigos have repeated similar senseless acts in the past, it’s a pattern of behaviour that has reared it’s ugly head and the effects are devastating for everyone involved.  It’s not only the players themselves that are affected their families, their parents, their club mates, the fans and their team mates and coaches. (At this moment Cipriani has not been proven guilty so we should not judge him just yet)

Stuart Lancaster the England Rugby Coach has given short shrift to any miscreants that have not been able to toe the party line.
Few people would argue that he has not done the right thing in imposing these high standards.

A lot of us will remember the grief that David Beckham got when he got sent off in the 1998 World Cup against Argentina. He was public enemy number 1 for a good few months. Fortunately for Becks he had time on his side and was able to rehabilitate himself by playing well in future games, for Hartley and Cipriani at their time may be up and they may not get another chance wearing the Red Rose.

We don’t need to go through each of the 3 players individual charge sheets, most rugby fans will know about Cips getting pissed up and run over by a bus on a late night session in Leeds, Hartley calling the ref a cheat or Manu going the knuckle on 2 female police officers.

We fans are left asking ourselves the questions:

What is wrong with them ? and 
Will they ever learn?

Before we dive in and point the finger, if we are going to take anything from this situation,  we need to ask ourselves a question or 2.

Do I have patterns of behaviour that keep repeating in my life?

I primarily work as a sports nutritionist and the majority of my clients come to me looking to lose weight and get in shape, most people when asked know what they need to do

  • Stop eating processed food
  • eat more vegetables and
  • drink less alcohol and sugary drinks
  • exercise more

Those 4 steps would sort out 90% of any issues

Why can’t my clients manage to do that? It’s a pretty simple task?

Why can’t Cipriani stop drinking and making silly decisions?  It’s not hard. He could have just got a taxi and everything would be fine.

The common problem with each of the 3 amigos is a lack of self discipline and control, Lancaster says that’s vital in the pressure cooker atmosphere of a World Cup and he is spot on.

Before we start throwing stones however lets look at our own green house though

How much self discipline and control do each of us have in our lives?

Do we have patterns that keep repeating over and over ?

I have them, you have them, everyone has them. The most successful people in society have positive ones that keep repeating the other 98% of us have negative ones.

Maybe some of these will connect with you.

  • Keep changing jobs and not moving forward in a career
  • easily distracted by the TV or internet and never get things done
  • turn up or pay bills late
  • can’t say no to our friends when we have other more important plans
  • pay for a gym membership but hardly ever go
  • spend time on social media instead of talking to our family
  • keep eating shit when our mum died at 50 from a heart attack
  • work to hard we never see our family
  • not having faith in ourselves and really going for it
  • staying in a toxic relationship
  • drinking  1/2  a bottle of wine a night to de stress
  • stay in our comfort zone when the life we want is just outside it
  • build up a savings pot and then blow it on a holiday
  • never set goals of what we want to achieve
  • keep working in a job we hate because it pays the bills

I believe that we aren’t born with these negative learned behaviours we acquire them from our environment and the people that influence us , often our parents, it may be a brother or even a coach
if we look at Dylan Hartley for example I don’t believe that he was born the ‘spiky aggressive niggly’ person that he is on the rugby pitch, he’s learnt that behaviour somewhere along the line and if he really wants to make a lasting change then the first step is identifying where he learnt it from.

It’s the same for all of us, if we want to change our circumstances we need to identify the negative learned behaviours and where we learnt them from.
There is a free resource to start the process at

Lets take something positive out of this situation and  improve our lives rather than bitch and moan about how and why the 3 amigos have right royally messed up.














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